Out of nowhere

Confessions

2009-08-04T05:09:52Z

write 10 confessions that you want to make to 10 people, but won't. then tag 10 people

1. You changed my life in ways that you'll never truly know. You saved me. And now I need you and I'm not suppose to be in your life.

2. I'm afraid of you even if you do love me, I can't tell you what I think.

3. I don't get you at all, you confuse the hell out of me and make me feel ugly.

4. I'm sorry I haven't talked to you, and I know I'm to blame. I'm almost scared to pick up the phone and call you.

5. I don't think he truly loves you and I can't stand to see you suffer from it.

6. I'm jealous of you in almost every way.

7. I'm afraid you'll judge me for how I am now. I feel like I'm everything you say you don't like now.

8. Stop asking him and me for things you damn gold digger. I wish I hadn't helped you.

9. What the hell is you're obsession with bad mouthing him and calling my happiness being "used".

10. I think you're a whore and a bitch and I wish I had beaten in your face.

Dam this was hard o .o I can't tag also, do it if you want.

A thankyou

2009-08-03T06:57:13Z

Ok cause I am way too lazy to answer th comments to my last post: thanks so much you guys, I'm half crazy with mood swings lately and you're all very reassuring ^.^ makes me feel better, honest. Now I'm tired so I'm going to bed happy lol. night night

Being left behind

2009-08-02T01:59:04Z

I know it's so dumb to feel this way but everyone going off to college makes me feel like I'm being left alone. I know that's not really the case, or at least I hope I'm so. But everyones going off places and I'm left behind, forgotten with the coming of new experiences.

But whatever, I'll just get over it.

I am in despair, being tagged has left me in despair

2009-07-31T03:36:52Z

New icons wewt.

And I can't talk to Taylor on the phone anymore thanks to his parents. Makes me wana cry, but then his friend lets him call so I guess it's not no calls. Meh, still makes me sad.

Oh and I was tagged

Lots of pillows or just one?
1 go me :>

What kind of books do you read?
Yay H.P Lovecraft and the horror genre!

What are your most awesome skills?
Uhm drawing I guess? I guess.

What's your occupation?
Eating my parent's food

What's really creepy?
Your mom. No really, your mother

What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
Taylor ; ~;

What websites do you always visit when you go online?
LJ, Mabinogi wiki, google videos

What are some of your weirdest quirks/habits?
EATING BABIES AND SMALL CHILDREN.

What was the cutest thing you've seen today?
Meh, nothing, quick someone get me a picture of Taylor. He's cute >:o

Do you get cravings? If so, what do you crave?
I crave my boyfriend and candeh

What do you do to change your mood?
Talk to Taylor, or his friend or my friends on mabi.

What is your zodiac sign?
Pisces cause I'm hot like that

Do you want to learn another language?
Meh whatevs.

Five things you can't live without.
Computer, phone, water, food, Taylor >:

What's something you'd like to say to someone right now?
I love you.

What are you looking forward to?
Idk

Say something to the person who tagged you:
Sirena.... Boo >:O
TAGS:
I tag THE EARTH

neonthrall @ 2009-07-14T00:22:00

2009-07-14T04:25:21Z

I wish I didn't get hopeful. It hurts so bad when things turn out wrong

Hope for sunday

2009-07-10T22:56:13Z

Sunday Sunday Sunday! Everyone pray for Taylor, cause he might just MIGHT get his phone back then. He leaves for camp then and his friend says his parents might give him his phone back then. I'm hoping to god that he does lol. But if he don't his friend promises to let us talk at least? ;~; So there's really no downside, but I want him to have HIS phone back :x

In other news extreme loneliness got me to get up, clean my room which hasn't been in about 2 and a half months and then on top of that do laundry which I hate. lol. And I was just like wow . -. So this is where all my random junk went. Hi random junk! oh oh oh! Hi old pages I so want to redraw now :D <3 And yeah, stuff like that. I've started to update my dev art again and it's cool. o3o Nya stuffes like that. Oh here's a link if you want to see my other obsessiveness in details now: http://neonthrall.deviantart.com/

neonthrall @ 2009-07-09T00:48:00

2009-07-09T04:52:42Z

Put a bullet in me and call me sick, I'm officially dying to hear Taylor's voice for more than 30 minutes for only once a week and maybe not even then. And he thinks his parents might not let him have a phone anymore and god I just want to talk to him for hours and hours and this feels like some kind of torture. I can't stand it.

But to take my mind off that I've decided to try and get a job in the next few days. I just don't know where to start x.x

neonthrall @ 2009-07-07T03:44:00

2009-07-07T07:50:28Z

Meh so Taylor got his phone back and lost it again. But this time, no clue when he'll be getting it back x.x It makes me cry.

BUT. Taylor took my "I cried at night cause I missed you SOOO MUCH DDDDD:" to heart and has his friend calling me to keep me company. lol I can't help but go into one big awww moment when I'm told that. Cause it means he cares and is thinkin bout me :> And I love that, and his friend is funny and does keep me at least a little bit happy when he tells me story bout him and Taylor.

So while I'm rather MEH I'm not going crazy at least?

Oh and tomorrow I'm going to the book store and so getting me some horror stories to amuse myself at night and give me nightmares yay :D Oh and I need to get a job, any ideas?

And I must stop staying up to 4 and sleeping in to 2... it's bad for me somehow I'm sure

neonthrall @ 2009-06-24T22:11:00

2009-06-25T02:15:11Z

Ugh Taylor's mom found out! So now no telling when he'll get his phone back. And he says that this doesn't change anything, and nothing should happens, so why do I feel so scared? Why do I have all these awful doubts? Ugh, I want to believe, but god I feel so scared and I don't know why

neonthrall @ 2009-06-23T17:43:00

2009-06-23T21:51:36Z

Well then... today has been weird o-o So I got a red and black plaid mini-skirt thing, and wore it today with a black shirt I got awhile ago. And I looked cute in it I think lol. But yeah, my dad was all like WOW :D! o-o He really liked it lol. And it was just the weirdest bit of complimenting I've ever gotten lol. But ya know at least he understood when I said I like to dress like that I just didn't for school. Mom was all like WTH I don't get you at all. T.T

But yeah, went to Hot Topic with Lyn and saw another skirt I wanted >: But there was only larges and smalls! But imma order it cause it was really cute ^o^ I'm having fun dressing different from how I'm used to.

neonthrall @ 2009-06-20T22:46:00

2009-06-21T02:58:34Z

Nya Taylor got his phone taken away by his witch mother D:< And he's guessing he won't get it back for a week T.T So that's a week without my good night phone call, and a week without my constant talking with him over text. Nya it's not fair at all x.x And I know in the long run that's nothing but MEH. I love him so much it hurts when I can't talk to him sometimes >_< I just want to hug him tight all the time and never let him go .////. It's gonna be a long week x///x

neonthrall @ 2009-06-18T12:22:00

2009-06-18T16:31:58Z

Meh this week has been a total emotional roller coaster @-@ it sucks. One minute I'll be super happy, and then reality hits and I just feel so meh! I'm sick of living with my parents, I can't stand to be around them sometimes .-. Nya I just need to move out or something, and soon, or I might go crazy >_<

Nya lucky for me I've got a sweet boy on the phone listening to me and always encouraging me otherwise I don't think I could make it. Nya when I talk to him I just say everything I feel and I love that so much o///o I'm such a dummy, thinking about him so much lol. Ah well guess that's just love~

neonthrall @ 2009-06-12T14:33:00

2009-06-12T18:37:47Z

Nyaa I stayed up all night until 7 in the morning :D and I'm so tired right now but I can't sleep another minute. I've been staying up every night but this was crazy. All for my adorable fool I talk to constantly over the phone now >///< Nya. And yay new green backgrounds cause green is awesome and gosh my thoughts are random right now and my head hurts :) Yet I'm really really really happy from dilirium fweee

neonthrall @ 2009-05-23T13:28:00

2009-05-23T17:33:05Z

Graduating was very surreal. I felt weird afterwards so I ditched my mom and walked home. I know I should be celebrating and happy but all this doesn't feel like something that important... I'm not really happy other than I don't have to go back, and I'm not sad. I just don't even feel anything about the whole thing. I just feel weird...

neonthrall @ 2009-01-23T06:45:00

2009-01-23T11:47:03Z

Watching my cat not comprehend that he can not play with a line of marker on a peice of paper makes me almost fall out of my desk chair XD

neonthrall @ 2009-01-22T14:03:00

2009-01-22T19:05:56Z

@_@ I got another prescription and it gave me the worst stomache since I just took it without food. Promise I'll be at school tomorrow. Sorry if I've made you guys worry >>

A FOOD WARNING: Watch out for this stuff, seriously

2008-12-27T03:35:07Z

Hey guys, I know I am very doomsday-y at times but this time my sad facination with researching food and the FDA has brought me to something I am terrified of truly. It's an artifical sweetner called Aspartame. THIS SHIT CAUSES BRAIN TUMORS. And what's more it is in almost EVERY diet cola we drink. This stuff is dangerous, there's tons of evidence saying it is so. But still it's being used. And while there may not be some obvious effects this stuff builds up.

Here's a documentary: The opening/Tumors: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BB-SXOYnXeY&feature=related The studies: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTHojtXKXKU

You don't really need to watch it all, but still it's interesting.

I don't want to scare you guys, and I don't want to sound nuts. I'm not asking you give up soda or anything like that, just don't drink diet. This freaks me out, and with so many complaints and possible problems I can't believe this is still going on. This is absolute neglence. Everyone means a lot to me and seeing this scares me. Truly.

Gliding silently through the night

2008-12-17T00:36:03Z

Finals are evil and I am the first to go in my lit final interview thing. Lyn helped me bunches because she is wonderful like that, and I am quite tired. Finals are like the cure to insomnia because afterwards everyone sleeps for like half the break. Am I right? I totally am.

Stolen from postpossibly

Rules:
- Pick your birth month
- Strike out anything that doesn't apply to you
- Bold the five-ten that best apply to you
- Copy to your own journal, with all twelve months under an LJ-cut

MARCH: Attractive personality. ~~Sexy.~~ Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. ~~Easily angered.~~ Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. ~~Revengeful.~~ Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves travelling. ~~Loves attention.~~ Hasty decisions in choosing partners. ~~Loves home decors.~~ ~~Musically talented.~~ Loves special things. Moody.

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves travelling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

neonthrall @ 2008-12-01T18:24:00

2008-12-01T23:27:26Z

Sorry if I seemed a little bitchy today guys. >> I'm just kind of mentally tired of school and want it to permanently blow up and what not.

But yeah. Guh.

I hate bookcards to death. ;-; Someone save me D:

neonthrall @ 2008-11-12T15:29:00

2008-11-12T20:35:03Z

Doctors, needles, and blood are evil. Oh how my arm hurts D: I know that means I'm a wimp but oh god! I had to look away when they were getting a blood sample. -cry- So other than the blood test results I appear to be all good.
Oh and being forced to not eat makes me tired and sore. Gwah I hate the pains it takes to stay healthy.

Anyway I am the fine now and just need to do homework and what not. I'd rather go to bed.... and expel the image of my all too ready to flow out blood. Jeez that was creepy >:

neonthrall @ 2008-11-08T15:47:00

2008-11-08T20:49:09Z

DAMMIT. I AM MAD! THE STUPID LADY CUT MY HAIR WRONG AND I HATE IT. KILL THE WORLD!

Yes, I know, it seems trivial but it means all the world to me D:

The waves beat against my tide pool

2008-10-29T23:22:44Z

I'm just kinda of weird out at how easily everything went back to normal. I mean I know we're not in the same place as before and I'm being careful of that(and I hope I'm doing well) but it's just so odd how close our friendship is to our relationship. And I know honestly I'm not completely over it. Those feelings won't disappear over night, if ever. I just can't believe how close love and friendship seem to be... But yeah, I'm not implying anthing by this, just kind of thinking about it.

Somewhere in me there must be the will to do my god damned Latin project. And for that matter my art still life. I just stare at the damned thing and look at my pencil as I just stare at the damn info for my project. Augh, what's wrong with me. Why am I so lazy D: I know I have a math test friday but I don't care.

I LOVE Spear Pillar on Brawl. And playing a full pokemon battle (Pokemon trainer vs Lucario(ME!)) is so fun! I love Dialga and Palkia is pretty cool for a space penis. 3-D is magical like that. Pretty colors and what not.

Well if I have any magical awe inspiring shit to say later I shall do so. Love yas.

Oh love how I love you, but you are bad for my health

2008-10-10T20:45:22Z

So all day. I was insane with worry and depression over you Cree. DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU DO TO ME D:

All that aside, feel better love, and have a good rest.

Oh the akward

2008-09-25T01:04:22Z

So my mum dearest asked if I was a lesbian today. We got on the topic because I told her I didn't really care to ware a dress to prom. And so she asked. When she originally asked me I really wasn't ready to answer, but I figured now if you wanted to know I'd tell her. And so I did. She had a feeling, but it still really surprised her. And I just kinda laughed.

But yeah, Book cards are going to be the death of me......

Sorry for the really trivial post, next time I'll make sure it's not quite so.... Personal?

neonthrall @ 2008-09-02T22:02:00

2008-09-03T02:03:41Z

You are the mysterious element that is a mixture of all other elements, yet your own element at the same time. Because you have qualities of all four elements, you are very unique, and don’t really fit any single category.